Autopilot of my soul
One of the most (morbidly) interesting things
about cognitive aging
is that it is not the things you do deliberately
that start,
one by one,
to betray and abandon you:
It’s the things your brain has always done for you automatically,
your autopilot functions
(and there have been so many, you come to discover)
that begin to jump ship,
leaving you more and more on your own,
realizing (too late)
that it’s never been you
doing all these things all along:
they’ve always been done for you.
And now — now — you’re the one
who has to take over.